December 10, 2004
Uncanny Similarities Between Kerry and Yushchenko
by Jeremy
Many people have pointed to some obvious similarities between the recent elections in the U.S. and Ukraine. The staff at Who Knew? decided to do some independent research into the similarities between John Kerry and Viktor Yushchenko. We think some of our results may startle you:
| Yushchenko is married and has two daughters | Kerry is married and has two daughters |
| In August, Yushchenko's car was run off the road by a truck in an apparent assassination attempt. | In March, Kerry was knocked over on his snowboard by a 'sonofabitch' Secret Service agent. |
| Yushchenko, before being disfigured by assassination attempts, used to look like a gameshow host. | Kerry sounds exactly like gameshow host, Alex Trebek. |
| Yushchenko was the hugely popular favorite among the voting populace. | Kerry was also a much beloved candidate so his loss was similarly inexplicable. |
| Yushchenko, in an apparent assassination attempt, was poisoned with what he believes to have been a bacterial toxin. Though he survived the incident his face has been dramatically altered, much to the concern and astonishment of the voting public. | Kerry too is injected with a deadly bacterial toxin, altering his face dramatically, much to the concern and astonishment of the voting public. |
UPDATE: It turns out Yushchenko was poisoned with Dioxin.
If you have noticed other compelling similarities, please leave them in the comments.
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