December 03, 2004
It's About the Empowerment; It's About the Inkeepers
by Jeremy
No one's taking anything away from Christmas, OK, so don't bother with the hate mail. And I'm sorry, I'm not apologizing if you think I'm 'uppity' in this post, but I'm fired up, can't take no more, and I'm not going to be your little monkey.
This post is about something I recently learned concerning the difference between 'celebrating holidays' which all too often takes the form of acceding to a kind of cultural hegemony, vs. using the 'holiday season' as a reminder of our true strident and courageous selves that have been left to squat in the corner of the culture with their bottom lips undulating into a collective excrescence of psychic pain due to being subjected to a kind of holocaust of cultural hegemon...oh, I said that already.
Specifically, what I learned is about the other side of Christmas. Yes, yes, the baby Jesus, yes, yes, the manger, right, sure, the inkeepers. Those evil, self-interested, mendacious, hidebound inkeeper bastards. Or so it goes. What? The Son of God? Going to die for our sins? No, sorry. You can sleep in the fucking barn.
That's how the inkeepers are perceived this time of year, so don't put your baggage on me. Offended? Well how in the hell do you think hospitality professionals feel this time of year? Come on people, this is the 21st century. Cultural sensitivity is not an optional extra anymore, it's included in the terms of the social contract. In large fucking type, OK? So it's time to stop defaulting on the contract, people.
I'm not a hotel professional but this time, this season, I'm going to damn well be thinking of them. You do what you want.
Let's take a good hard look at this thing from another perspective, M'kay? It's late at night, Christmas Eve, you're an inkeeper still at work, and some pregnant woman and her husband with no reservation are begging for a room. Need I say more?
Well I found this on the internet and it made me cry. If you can read this brave person's testimony without feeling moved, then you are a lousy person:
I am a Reservations AgentI have advanced degrees in accounting, public relations, marketing, business, computer science, civil engineering, and Swahili. I can also read minds.
Of course I have the reservation that you booked six years ago, even though you don't have your confirmation number and you think it was made under a name that starts with "X"It's not a problem for me to give you seven connecting, non-smoking, poolside suites with two king beds in each, four rollaways, and yes I can install a wet bar. I know that it is my fault that we do not have a helicopter landing pad.
I am a reservations agent, I am expected to speak all languages. It is obvious to me that when you booked your reservation for Friday, that you really meant Saturday. My company has entrusted me with all financial information and decisions, and yes I can tell you why your bill from 1989 contained a 25 cent phone charge because, obviously, you never pay for phone charges.
I understand that mcgillicotty's widget manufacturing is a vast empire that will make or break our hotel. Yes, I am lying to you when I say we have no more rooms available. It's not a problem for me to quickly construct several more guest rooms. This time I will remember to build the helicopter landing pad. And it's my fault that everyone wanted to stay here at our hotel, I should have known that you were coming in even though you have no reservation.
There's more of that you can read if you even care.
I'm sorry. I warned you this was emotionally affecting. What can you do? Well, for starters you can join with me in celebrating International Inkeepers' Empowerment Day this December 25th.
Next week I will share my thoughts on the sobering implications the miracle of Hannukah holds for the good people of the Union of Petroleum and Natural Gas Workers.
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